Famous Quotes by Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens]
- A strange and vanity-devoured, detestable woman! I do not believe I could ever learn to like her... More
- We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead—and not... More
- Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it... More
- I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would... More
- We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or... More
- Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money... More
- A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never... More
- There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the... More
- It is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a... More
- Tonight I appear for the first time before a Boston audience—4,000 critics. More
- I have no desire for riches. Honest poverty and a conscience torpid through virtuous inaction are... More
- He had not failed to observe how harmoniously gigantic language and a microscopic topic go together. More
- Intellectual “work” is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. More
- Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him... More
- The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of... More
- I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed. More
- If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won’t. It is better and... More
- Always obey your parents, when they are present. More
- Some authorities hold that the young ought not to lie at all. That, of course, is putting it... More
- My father and I were always on the most distant terms when I was a boy—a sort of armed... More
- Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. More
- A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty. More
- If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon’s mouth, I am willing to go there... More
- There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity’s mind and... More
- A man can seldom—very, very, seldom—fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are... More
- In the weltering hell of the Moorooroo plain
The Yatala Wangary withers and dies,
And the... More
- The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction. More
- We went to Mannheim and attended a shivaree—otherwise an opera—the one called... More
- Average American’s simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak. More
- A pretty air in an opera is prettier there than it could be anywhere else, I suppose, just as an... More
- The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the... More
- We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is... More
- After a few months’ acquaintance with European “coffee,” one’s mind weakens, and his... More
- By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is... More
- Golf is a good walk spoiled. More
- Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. More
- The best of us would rather be popular than right. More
- Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered—either by themselves or by others. More
- A man’s house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear... More
- Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. More
- Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born—a hundred... More
- The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. More
- Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will... More
- Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the... More
- That’s what an army is—a mob; they don’t fight with courage that’s born in them, but with... More
- We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his... More
- What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man... More
- Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world—and... More
- When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man’s moral constitution and make... More
- What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or... More
- You tell me whar a man gits his corn-pone, en I’ll tell you what his ‘pinions is. More
- Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise... More
- We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation... More
- Lump the whole thing! Say that the Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo! More
- It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for... More
- I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly—except when excited. When using that language I... More
- I begin to see that a man’s got to be in his own heaven to be happy. More
- There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice. More
- We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stop there;... More
- Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. More
- Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is... More
- If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging? More
- Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. More
- To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. More
- It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient. More
- All human rules are more or less idiotic. More
- All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth—including... More
- There isn’t a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had had its... More
- Prosperity is the best protector of principle. More
- There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow. Yet it was the... More
- A man may have no bad habits and have worse. More
- It is easier to stay out than get out. More
- There are many humorous things in the world; among them the white man’s notion that he is less... More
- “Classic.” A book which people praise and don’t read. More
- Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. More
- By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. More
- Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. More
- In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. More
- Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to... More
- It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things:... More
- It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to... More
- India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India... More
- It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American... More
- Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. More
- Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. More
- Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should... More
- There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great... More
- Demagogue—a vessel containing beer and other liquids. More
- How empty is theory in the presence of fact! More
- A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the... More
- Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to... More
- Their very imagination was dead. When you can say that of a man, he has struck bottom, I reckon;... More
- All gentle cant and philosophizing to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in this world ever... More
- Well, I had gone and spoiled it again, made another mistake. A double one in fact. There were... More
- There are wise people who talk ever so knowingly and complacently about “the working... More
- My heart got to thumping. You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps... More
- We have no thoughts of our own: they are transmitted to us, trained into us. All that is original... More
- It was only just words, words,—they meant nothing in the world to him, I might just as well... More
- That is the way we are made: we don’t reason, where we feel; we just feel. More
- She had exactly the German way: whatever was in her mind to be delivered, whether a mere remark,... More
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